THE LEAFLET

September 12 2024

replace 1:1s with monthly observation, how to do that, minimizing defensiveness

REPLACE 1:1s WITH MONTHLY OBSERVATION

Feeling like your organization or your direct reports are a little stuck, like the early thrill of rapid improvement has given way to a sort of malaise? Teammates not growing as aggressively or ambitiously as possible? 

One potential culprit that is sometimes to blame: Weekly one-on-one meetings with teammates — the default in most organizations, it seems — may not be the best engine of rapid development for your team at this moment. There are a few reasons for this. First, weekly meetings tend to rely mostly on self-reported data of how things are going rather htan direct observation. They often feature a “kitchen sink” approach to conquering all of the tiny issues that emerged throughout the week. In short, weekly meetings are often consumed by small-potatoes issues rather than a zoomed-out question of, “What single thing could most efficiently improve across-the-board performance of this person I lead?” 

The antidote to this may be to replace your weekly one-on-one meetings with monthly, half-day observation+coaching sessions. Ride along with your direct reports as they engage in the highest-stakes routines of their job, noting strengths and gaps, coaching in real time constantly. At the end of the day, take stock of key development priorities.

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MECHANICS OF THE MONTHLY OBSERVATION

Here’s how you can set these up: 

1. About a week before your scheduled half-day, reach out to pick the exact right time. Two approaches: 

• A) Target something vitally important that’s currently gumming up the works.

• B) Alternatively, should choose a half-day window that provides a fairly representative cross-section of their day-to-day job.

2. As you observe them “in the wild,” constantly point out the repeatable behaviors they’re doing that are leading to their success. You’ll start getting more of those behaviors (and with more intentionality). Make quick, in-the-moment fixes to actions that will reliably produce better results if they make this switch moving forward. 

3. After you’ve gathered enough data, seen them in enough situations, zoom out and identify the 2 single most important things (plus or minus one) that will radically propel their development. To ensure you’re thinking big enough, it is often helpful to artificially exaggerate things by asking yourself, “If we were to never talk again, and if I could leave them with just 1 thing that would radically transform your work, what would it be?”

4. Communicate that, identify needs, set goals for what should be (majorly!) different when you see them a full month later. 

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MINIMIZING DEFENSIVENESS

Suppose you have an early-career teammate who is under-performing, and you have to give some negative feedback (perhaps in a formal performance evaluation meeting). Ideally the negative feedback is received as a clarifying message of what to work on; so how can you set up the meeting to avoid triggering defensiveness, the enemy of growth?

The most important thing you can do to avoid a defensive reaction to negative feedback is to first align on the purpose of the feedback meeting. 

People show up to these conversations with a ton of historical baggage that you’ll never know about. When I’ve seen harsh feedback conversations go badly, it often seems to be rooted in the fact that the feedback recipient isn’t clear on what the purpose of the feedback is. If you were to ask the recipient what the purpose of the feedback meeting is, what would they say? Critically, even people who know the right answer (“It’s to help me grow!”) may nevertheless maintain deeper feelings that this meeting is a moratorium on their work quality, identity, or stability in the organization. Those feelings immediately, understandably put people in a defensive crouch. In fact, this can happen even if it is absolutely clear in the leader’s mind that the only purpose of tough feedback is to help the teammate grow.

Because the purpose of negative feedback meetings is so likely to be misunderstood, the first move in these meetings is always to establish a common understanding of what this meeting is all about. I typically start by asking my direct reports to explicitly state what they think the purpose of performance eval meetings is. (Yes, I even do this with veterans.) No matter their answer, I always reiterate my key stake in the ground: The only purpose here is to help you grow.

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COMPELLING QUOTES

Former Nest Labs CEO Tony Fadell on data and intuition:

Every decision has elements of data and opinion, but they are ultimately driven by one or the other. Sometimes you have to double down on the data; other times you have to look at all the data and then trust your gut. And trusting your gut is incredibly scary. Many people don’t have either a good gut instinct to follow or the faith in themselves to follow it. It takes time to develop that trust. So they try to turn an opinion-driven business decision into a data-driven one. But data can’t solve an opinion-based problem.

Revolutionary love practitioner Valarie Kaur on grieving:

You don't need to know people in order to grieve with them. You grieve with them in order to know them.

Biographer Kai Bird on Oppenheimer’s warnings:

Oppenheimer’s warnings were ignored—and ultimately, he was silenced. Like that rebellious Greek god Prometheus—who stole fire from Zeus and bestowed it upon humankind, Oppenheimer gave us atomic fire. But then, when he tried to control it, when he sought to make us aware of its terrible dangers, the powers-that-be, like Zeus, rose up in anger to punish him.

Keep going, keep growing,

Ben & Eric