THE LEAFLET

October 31 2024

tell them the work speaks for itself, history v hypocrisy, shorthand for feedback

TELL THEM THE WORK SPEAKS FOR ITSELF

Leaders sometimes shrink their on-stage time and mute their own takes out of a good-faith desire to put The Work or The Mission front and center. Especially when things are going well, these leaders want the work to speak for itself. We’re working on the right things and getting good results! I’ll just get in the way and self-promote if I impose my interpretation on this. 

This is a mistake. It’s a leader acting more like a poet than a preacher, relying on implication instead of invocation. The leader hopes people take away the right message instead of directly offering it, with reference to the shared values and mission beneath it.

Paradoxically, if you want the work to speak for itself, you have to tell your people that’s what is happening. “I am not going to make a speech about this. These results should speak for themselves. You know what went into creating these results. You know what these results mean for our customers/community. These results, without much commentary from me, should inspire you, and inspire you to [insert useful next action].”

Read the rest here.

HISTORY V HYPOCRISY

Over time, a gap can open on your team between your talk and your walk. The codified language of your culture, whether it be compensation policy or the definitions of a core value, no longer matches what happens in practice. What’s more, the de facto version gets the approval of the leader.

For many veterans on the team and for you, if you’re the leader (and especially if you’re the founding leader), these discrepancies often connote a history. You can see and remember how we’ve gotten to where we are, why things operate the way they do. The dictionary definition is a guide; but the common usage of the word rules. And sometimes, the gaps between talk and walk won’t even occur to veterans. They speak the contemporary dialect fluently and accept its internal contradictions.

For many newcomers, however, this gap between talk and walk will not look like the honorable fruit of a complicated history. It will look like hypocrisy. This place doesn’t do what it says it does. Or it doesn’t do it in the way it says it does. What gives?

This newcomer’s skepticism is useful - you can ask new people to identify all the gaps they see between talk and walk in their early weeks/months. Then you can decide whether you want to change your talk, explain your walk, or let it ride.

Read the rest here.

SHORTHAND FOR FEEDBACK

In Radical Candor, Kim Scott aims to de-risk and simplify feedback with the example of a coworker whose fly is down. (Or, one who has some v visible arugula in their teeth, if you prefer that version). A good teammate conveys this information to the one with the fly down or spinach in their smile, ideally in a direct and discreet way. A lesser teammate withholds the information and lets their colleague look like a mess. 

The zipper, the spinach - these situations are relatively low stakes. There’s no grand moral drama, no big strategic implications at issue. A small thing could be made better with some awareness and quick action. Yet, so very often, we let the lettuce stay stuck in our teammate’s teeth. We hope someone else has the gumption to say, “Psst - your fly!”

As a leader and culture builder, it can be useful to have a name for this category of low-stakes feedback - an acronym, a symbol, a catchprase. Here’s a clumsy one: “HYB” - “having your back”. (You’ll probably think of something better if you try.) 

People can use that name when they’re giving this species of feedback. The name puts the receiver of the feedback at ease (“oh, this is going to be a small-scale thing; I’m not in big trouble”) and it lends the giver a modicum of courage, or at least some social cover, so that they actually give the feedback in the first place (“I’m not being a scold, I’m just having your back.”) 

Just a quick HYB - you’ve got spinach in your teeth.

Read the rest here.

COMPELLING QUOTES

Jungian therapist James Hollis riffs on Rilke:

Being defeated by ever larger things is probably the single best way to keep our appointment with destiny.

Former attorney Mahatma Gandhi on love:

A coward is incapable of exhibiting love; it is the prerogative of the brave.

Psychotherapist Carl Jung on inheritance:

What usually has the strongest effect on the child is the life which the parents … have not lived.

Keep going, keep growing,

Ben & Eric