how to inspire without eloquence, ego, or training
A question I hear more and more from leaders is, “how do I inspire my team? I want to be an inspiring leader. How do you do that? What's the secret sauce?”
Some people who ask this are actually asking, “How can I be more eloquent or passionate and get compliments for it from my team?” That is different from inspiring your team.
When we're talking about inspiring people we’re talking about
creating effort, risk-taking courage, and tolerance for ambiguity and error that people didn't have before, and
Those same people feeling good about exercising those not burdened by them
A question I typically ask that demonstrates how I think about this is, “Can you think of a time when you overheard somebody saying you were good at something that you thought you were lousy at?” Most people have at least one instance of this they can point to. It’s a memorable experience.
Eric’s example when we had this conversations was:
“When I was a kid I often felt shy and awkward and I remember overhearing an adult telling my mom that I carried myself well with adults. That was very different than my understanding of myself as sort of a shy, shrinking violet.”
“How did that information affect you the next time you were around adults?”
“It gave me a lot of courage and confidence I hadn't previously had. It made me think, ‘okay this is who I am with adults.’ After that, I was more likely to reach out and offer a handshake or look people in the eye and ask them how they were doing - I was more likely to try to act like a grownup around other grownups.”
Lo and behold, after overhearing this statement about who he was, Eric’s ability to put forth effort, take risks, and tolerate ambiguity and error went way up. He was inspired.
A change in behavior based on a reformed identity is what I think is actually going on with inspiration. This change is what we should look for as the sign that we have inspired our teams.
Note that inspiration, by this definition, is different from training. Somebody could have sat Eric down and said, “Look, I understand you might want to be better at being around adults. Here are some skills you can use to shake a hand well. Look somebody in the eye, grip their hand firmly, smile.” Recommending and practicing moves is training.
Inspiring is a leader shifting the identity of the performer such that that person then lives up to that identity with their performance.
That inspired performance then heightens the expectations of the leader, further enhancing the identity of the teammate. This is the growth cycle - a constant virtuous improvement that feeds on itself.
So many leaders chase inspiration with rah rah speeches or authoritarian “bossing.” Some are even good at these moves. Unfortunately, speeches and power moves depend upon the leader’s eloquence, ego, and status, none of which are as durable or portable as teammates’ own self images.
The far more inspiring move can seem paternalistic but is in fact way more empowering and other-focused. As a leader, you can decide for somebody who they are as a performer, tell them who they are as a performer, and then watch them walk away emboldened to take greater effort and risk as a result.
This is the most useful way to think of inspiration because we can do it any time. Great leaders will get up in front of a single person or a group of people and say, “Look, I already know you can do this because you've done this before,” or “I hired you because you are the one who can tackle this problem and I knew that the moment I met you.”
Inspiring leaders who do this create moments like the one Eric experienced as a kid. They allow their people to overhear themselves being described as great at something that they thought they weren't so great at. Then their people try to live up to that reputation with their performance.
This is a leadership habit you can use anytime. It builds compounding confidence and resilience in your people instead of fleeting admiration of your own skills.
-Ben
