a vibe check as feedback for safety

One of the many awkward, courageous things a good leader does is check the vibes and talk about the vibes before the vibes become Things That Require Decisions and Process Oh No.

Checking the vibes means sharing an observation of some emotional weather, perhaps quite subtle, and asking your people about that observation. Are they also aware of this weather? What do they make of it? What’s a risky theory they might have about where it’s coming from and what it portends? Anything we need to say or do about it?

This is a gift to your people. It’s a way of creating a small instance of the vaunted psychological safety that so many retreats, consultants, and decks are supposed to deliver.

When you say “I’ve noticed a certain vibe that feels off. I could be wrong about this! And it’s present enough I thought I should mention it. Are you seeing this? What do you make of it?”

You’re also saying underneath that:

• I’m paying attention

• Your experience of the thing we are doing matters to me.

• Feelings are allowed around here, even if they are not bright and carbonated and “productive,” strictly speaking.

Sometimes this weather is just people having their moods and seasons and stresses. Nothing to see here, really. And sometimes it’s the germ or shadow of unspoken desire, resentment, confusion. Someone wants out, wants a promotion, think their manager is a mansplaining jerk, doesn’t get AT ALL why we are forcing this new bureaucratic policy on everyone.

The desire, the resentment, the confusion - all legitimate. But perhaps all useless, even injurious, if they must remain unspoken.

Your earnest vibe check is a form of feedback - a take that someone can make use of that is wholly unavailable until you say it.

-Eric